Shyness

 One of the many obstacles in my life has been shyness.

Shyness (also called diffidence) is the feeling of apprehension, lack of comfort, or awkwardness especially when a person is around other people. This commonly occurs in new situations or with unfamiliar people. Shyness can be a characteristic of people who have low self-esteem. Stronger forms of shyness are usually referred to as social anxiety or social phobia. The primary defining characteristic of shyness is a largely ego-driven fear of what other people will think of a person's behavior. This results in a person becoming scared of doing or saying what they want to out of fear of negative reactions, being laughed at, humiliated or patronized, criticism or rejection. A shy person may simply opt to avoid social situations instead.

I was born with a speech impediment. When you are 2 and 3 years old, it's cute; but when you start to Kindergarten it is no longer cute. It's an invitation for everyone to make fun of you and laugh at you.

I had to go to Speech Therapy for 5 years.  I can remember when I would have to be excused from class to go to speech therapy, all the kids would start laughing and say, "She can't talk!!"

So I decided I wouldn't talk. In fact, I didn't have to.  My mom and  dad were so embarrassed by the way I spoke, they spoke for me. They grew up in a generation where if there was any kind of disability in your child, that was an embarrassment.  

And as I grew older, the shyness got worse. In high school, I wouldn't eat lunch most of the time, because I didn't want to sit by myself. I didn't know how to socialize or make friends. Some people didn't even know I existed, because when they would come to our house, I would go hide in my bedroom. I let so many opportunities pass me by, because I wouldn't go after things I wanted or ever speak up for myself.

Shyness has probably been my biggest obstacle in my life. It was my shipwreck, my one eyed giant, all the things that kept me from reaching the things that I wanted in life.

When I would be interviewed for a job, my face would always be red and I couldn't even look anyone in the eye.

I COULD NOT OVERCOME THIS ONE OBSTACLE IN MY LIFE!!

As I grew older and became a wife and mother, I know it still held me back.

One day, a very wise preacher friend of ours gave me some advice that has helped me so very much.

He said, "You are not shy, you are full of pride." He said shyness is the same as Pride. Really a shy person is a proud person. They are so afraid of what someone is going to think of them, because of their pride.

I John 2:16

For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.

It helped me tremendously, when he told me that. I had never thought of that before. It can still be an obstacle sometimes in my life. I don't know if I'll ever be completely an extrovert and be the life of the social circle. But with a lot of prayer and help from God, I have overcome a lot of the shyness.  Honestly, people I get to know, probably wish I wouldn't talk so much.

When I was young, I wrote this poem:

SHYNESS

Sometimes I have so much to say,

But deep inside my words will stay.

For I dare not speak what's in my heart,

For you'll think I'm silly and not too smart.

Opportunities will often pass me by,

For I'm so afraid and terribly shy.

When I speak, my face turns red,

And there is always such a dread.

I get so nervous and start to stammer,

My heart beats fast just like a hammer.

So I'll hide in shadows with my fears,

And lonely I'll be throughout the years.

- Patricia Rice

A World of Hate

"I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" is one of my favorite Christmas carols. It was based on a poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow called "Christmas Bells". He wrote it in 1863 while the Civil War was raging through our country.

While listening to the bells ringing on Christmas, he wrote this segment of verse to the poem, "For hate is strong and mocks the song of peace on earth, good will to men".

Hate has been strong from the beginning of Creation.  The Bible story of Adam and Eve's son, Cain, because of hate and jealousy of his brother, we have the first murder.

You can go through the pages of history and hate is the cause of so much of what has happened on this earth.

Hate usually derives from fear, anger, or sense of injury. Hatred is an intense emotional feeling. Sometimes it is caused by things we don't understand. Sometimes hatred is something that was passed on to us from our parents and ancestors.

Sometimes we hate people because they are of a different color or a different race. Sometimes just because a person is a little different from what we think people ought to be like. 

My mind always goes back to World War II and the hatred of  Adolph Hitler and the Nazi Party for the Jewish people.  Because of their hatred for the Jews, they tried to wipe out a whole nation of people. The Germans thought they were the superior race. 

In this election year of 2020, I have seen so much hate. Each political party's degradation of one another. It makes me ashamed of our country and our leadership. No one is ever going to agree on the same thing. Right now Donald Trump is the President of our United States. We need to pray for him and respect him as our Commander in Chief.  

Hate is a sad thing. It can change our very character. It can turn into bitterness.

At the end of Longfellow's poem, he writes -

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
"God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
    The Wrong shall fail,
    The Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men."

Don't let the hate in our hearts push aside LOVE AND PEACE!

  Ephesians 4:31-32

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

America - Sweet Land of Liberty

Today, I was going through some old vinyl albums. You know those 33 1/3, 78's, and 45 RPM's. Those old ones that most young people do not know what you are talking about.

I forgot which albums I had and I decided to play some of them.  One of them was by Tex Ritter, a country western singer and actor. He is also the father of the late actor, John Ritter.

The album was Sweet Land of Liberty

On the album was this narrative by Tex Ritter of a letter he had written to his sons.  

In this time in our country, the letter is so appropriate.  I know it's long, but I hope you will take time to read it.

September 1966

Dear boys

Now that you both are away at school preparing yourselves for your life's work,

remember I always want you to make your own decisions.

However I thought I'd jot down a few thoughts that you might consider.

When the constitutional convention was finally adjourned in Philadelphia,

Benjamin Franklin's first remark as he left the hall was spoken to a small group of by-standers.

He said, "We have given you a republic, see if you can hold it."

Tom, within two years you will be of voting age. You John a couple of years later.

Study your political candidates,  study the issues.

Vote for those who believe in the wisdom of the framers of our constitution.

Within a decade or so the torch will be passed to your generation.

Take a firm grip and hold it high.

If we of this generation have veered from the course, if we have been inclined to consider the constitution an outmoded instrument of government;

Change the course, head it back to where it belongs.

And avoid the troublesome waters.

It was not Socialism that made this country the greatest nation in the history of the world. It was not Communism.

It was what Franklin said it was back there in 1787.

A republic - A good old fashion capitalist republic.

It's up to your generation to keep it what way.

As young boys you both traveled over many parts of our country with Mom and me. We tried to instill in you not only love of and pride in your country, but to appreciate the beauty of America. I trust you never lose it.

When you travel, look for that beauty. It's there some place.

Someone might say, "Well yes in the New England woods in the fall,

Yellowstone, Grand Canyon, the Great Smokies;

but what about a Kansas wheatfield what's so beautiful about that."

My answer, it's there my friend. If you doubt me, ask the farmer who owns it. Looks kinda pretty to him.

There is beauty in all America. If you look for it boys you'll find it.

As you journey through your college years and throughout your life,

Take a tip from President Truman -

Become familiar with the history of your country. If you know the story of America, you will understand and appreciate the glory of America.

And with President Kennedy -

Ask not what your country can do for you

Ask what you can do for your country.

The United States of America - this powerful land, this beautiful land,

Yes this republic - this sweet land - This sweet land of liberty.

Love Dad

The words are so true. We live in the greatest country in the world. I love America and I'm so proud of my country. We need to hold the torch high and honor our country and the beauty of it.  

It's a country founded on God and His principles.  GOD BLESS AMERICA!!

2 Chronicles 7:14

 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

I Think We Can Handle This

My Grandson, Laythan

The other evening my grandchildren were at the house. My 5 year old grandson, Laythan, was eating a bowl of ice cream.  I think he was eating a little too fast and he started getting indigestion.  I kept asking him if he was okay and if we needed to tell his mommy.

In the wisdom of a 5 year old he said, "I THINK WE CAN HANDLE THIS."

I think we can handle this, we got this, we can do it.

So many times in our lives when we face obstacles or situations that come along, we always think we can do this, we're good, we know how to take care of this.

A couple of months ago my dryer broke.  To me, it's one of those things that you don't want to happen.  I haven't been to a laundromat forever and I sure hope I never have to.  

Well I decided I could handle this.  So I looked it up on the internet and I figured out the problem and got out my little socket set and started taking my dryer apart. I looked up the model number and thought I could just order the part and put it on myself. After removing the top and screws laying everywhere, I thought, "What am I doing?"  I don't know anything about dryers.  I needed HELP.  

So I gave in and called a repairman.  In 30 minutes and $245.00 later, my dryer was up and running.

I'm one of those people who think I can do it myself and figure things out. But usually, I end up making a mess of things. I try to make decisions in my life and figure things out, but most of the time I can't handle it on my own.

When you face everyday obstacles, ask for help.  God is always there and he'll listen to all of our problems and a lot of times I tell Him, "I can't do this on my own.  I need your help."

I'm thankful that He loves me and is willing to help in any situation.

Psalm 46:1

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.